I'm so happy, I could eat a bug

Travel can be a magical kind of adventure to strange and new places. People like me take dozens of pictures to find the best ones for sharing with friends and family. Keep the magic alive, right? Oh my, look at that ancient ruin. Look at that centuries old temple. Look at me, posing on some steps. But to be fair, it’s not all fun and games. If you want to see the temples in person, be prepared to be overwhelmed by history and heat. The heat even more so than the history. Finally I said to my husband: take a picture of what it’s really like! Take a picture of me sitting here with my purse, my umbrella, my hand fan, and my whatever else. Feeling like I’m sitting on a frying pan, not with the cheesy smile for all the Good Shots. Feeling like I would give my kingdom for an ice cold lemonade and a chair in the shade.

Travel can be a delightful wonder of new foods to try. Every curry dish is a little bit different, and it’s fantastic. Back home there were few surprises. Cook the same food, go to the same restaurants, maybe put some variety in the match of ingredients. Here it’s a terrible anticipation sometimes to order something and just pray I won’t hate it. Maybe be completely delighted that I love it. We’re in foreign countries, things can surprise you in many ways. Today I asked for a watermelon shake, and the lady said: “Mango?” And I said: “Sure, you bet”. I mean, I like mango too. But it’s like that when you order food too, and sometimes you don’t know the miscommunication until something unidentifiable is set in front of you for dinner.

We went to a restaurant that was suggested by a new friend. Cheap prices, good food, that’s always the promise. We needed help to choose a restaurant, there are about a hundred of them within a 2 block radius. I ordered another shake. The straw is yellow, and I see a bug at the top of the straw. So I pull the straw out, and wonder how many other bugs are back in the kitchen. The bug is at the top, there is shake at the bottom. I was hot, not making good decisions. That’s my only excuse for the idiotic thing I did next. I put the bottom of the straw in my mouth for the little bit of shake at the bottom. Somehow this bug ends up in my mouth. And it’s moving around. It’s like slow motion now. I spit the bug out on the table, and it runs away before I can even identify it. To ease my mind, I tell myself it was a cricket. Ron missed the whole thing, he was looking at his phone. Thank goodness. I would never live that down. I’ve been traveling in Southeast Asia for too long. I was grossed out, but I was more hot and tired than grossed out. I drank my drink, and ate my food when it arrived.

And that night I was still feeling grossed out by it. But only for one more night, and here’s why. We went to the war memorial museum. It was just a field full of old tanks and things, with open displays of rifles and land mines and things. We had a guide. He was born in 1982. In 1991 they told them they had half an hour to leave their village, it was going to be destroyed. They moved into the city, never really having been to the city. That is so recent, that is the year my oldest son was born. He talked about how the Khmer Rouge were for his parent’s generation. They were all thrown into the countryside and forced to work together in the rice fields. The families were divided up into different work groups. They were given very little to eat, and many starved to death. The total death toll is often guessed at 2-3 million Cambodians during his parent’s generation. There were 8 million people in the country, in total. They were not allowed to talk to each other as they worked, ate, or slept. I can’t even imagine. His parents survived, many did not. Eating bugs kept people alive. They could not even go into the jungle and pick fruit. This put my own bug episode into perspective. I can’t complain. And do you know what? The people here is Siem Reap smile so much. It’s amazing. And their nightmare isn’t over yet. The land mines are still out there. Still taking lives, even in May of 2018. The guide said there 5 casualties last month.

It was a very sobering balance to the rest of our trip. These Cambodians had a previous history of building grand temples. But recently in history they have been cursed. Their own people and other countries all conspired against them. There is so much to explain. I have started writing about something that I can't finish writing about. I read that millions of landmines still lie dormant. So many were planted! Travel is about trying to understand. This place and this people have affected me.

I hear that Angelina Jolie made a movie about a Cambodian book called First They Killed My Father. The one quote that haunts me is "this is still a genocide characterised by neglect, indifference and silence". Even before that visit we were thinking about how to stay and help these struggling but smiling people. Then it really starts to sink in. How do you really make a difference? How do you set a budget, and how to you pinpoint who you can help when there are so many needs?

(There are more questions than answers. This is a travel blog. I may start another blog on just this subject. There is so much here. And it's one of several countries that are struggling for peace and a hint of prosperity.)
I have taken for granted more than these people have ever dreamed of. If you read this, and it makes you sad, then your compassion is working well. If it all seems overwhelming, it should. Start with your own personal gratitude for what you have and who you are. Then go from there.
I will be doing more research, the first thing I have read about is that Cambodian Children's Fund is solid charity doing good work.